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October 20, 2026 · 11:42 am

She Drives Me Crazy

It’s been rumored that I drive my husband crazy—in all the wrong ways. Of course, he is more than willing to point out my shortcomings, even if he had to convince me to mention them here, in print. Turnabout is fair play, I suppose.

For starters, I try (and usually fail) to persuade him to eat more vegetables each day. It’s almost as if he has some sort of personal vendetta against food that is primarily green. It’s nothing new. He’s been that way for as long as I’ve known him. “How about some peas? Green beans? An artichoke maybe?”

I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that it’s a big “nope” from him much of the time, or “Why would I want to eat something that’s trying to STAB me!?” So, I’m fairly astonished on the rare occasions where he agrees to have a something veggie-ish. Either way, he views my persistent coaxing as he would an irritating rash—something decidedly annoying that may or may not go away in time.

As long as I’m addressing the issue of health, it’s fair to say that I am unrelenting in my suggestions that we go for a walk together—especially now, since the weather is beautiful. It’s usually sunny, low humidity and it doesn’t feel like we’re a mile from the sun. Although, I must admit, it’s my husband’s least favorite season, with all the leaves changing and cooler temperatures. As he likes to say, “Everything is DYING. Why would anybody like that?” At any rate, I’m quite sure he’s less than pleased when I suggest we go for a stroll.

Then there are all the times I imply that we should do some odd jobs around the house, like decorate for Halloween—and he agrees. However, it seems that we’re never in agreement when it comes to when we’re motivated to do the jobs. He’s a morning person, while I detest mornings. I much prefer to tackle work of any sort in the afternoon, after I’ve had my caffeine. It’s true: Take two people who are opposite in almost every way, and invariably, they marry each other.

Apparently, I am also an overachiever when it comes to asking mindless questions—a trait that my spouse considers to be the height of exasperation. He even has a name for me related to my special talents in that arena—the Question Queen. But I’ve got news for him; I’m not insulted by it. Instead, I’ve embraced the title and try to pepper him with even more questions than he thought humanly possible. He’s remarked on more than one occasion that he’s tried to anticipate which particular questions I’ll fire in his direction upon his return from being out, and, of course, the first three are ones he never imagined. Touché.

What’s more, I have a habit of plucking his gnarly ear hairs or an eyebrow hair gone rogue with far more glee than is deserved. Admittedly, I do find joy in ridding him of unruly and unwanted hairs near his face. Pain just happens to be a byproduct. I’m also guilty of pestering him to remove the unsightly piles of papers on our kitchen island—the ones he can’t bear to trash or move somewhere out of sight. I confess that said pestering is off the charts, but someone has to do it.

But what drives him absolutely berserk is something I’ll admit is a terrible habit of mine—I don’t listen to the details of what he says. I get the gist of his commentary, but fail to come away with any meaningful specifics that might contribute to a deeper understanding of what he’s expressing at any given moment. I usually chalk it up to being glued to my phone, my computer or whatever playoff game happens to be airing at the time. It’s true—I don’t always attend to what is being said. What can I say—I’m easily distracted. As a result, he’s relegated to repeat a ridiculous number of utterances—well, his half of them anyway, which can lead to madness, I’m told.

On a related note, we both get aggravated because we knowingly choose to hold entire conversations when we’re halfway across the house from each other, shouting into the void in the hopes that our message will be received. Mind you, we don’t move closer to one another; we just shout louder, repeating the insanity that’s wrapped in denial.

Welcome to my world. It’s where I live (probably driving my husband crazy). Visit me there at www.facebook.com/NotesFromPlanetMom. Signed books are available on Etsy at PlanetMomMarket.

Let Them Eat Cake–Sometimes

Once in a great while, I stumble across a book that’s so good, I reread it. Glucose Revolution by Jessie Inchauspé (Glucose Goddess on Instagram) is just such a book. It might not be of interest to everyone per se, but since I have type 2 diabetes, I am wholly invested in its subject matter. Plus, I thought my doctor might be impressed to learn that I read it—twice. Unfortunately, I haven’t been able to convince my husband to read it yet. He argues, “When they cure death, I’ll read it.”

At any rate, it’s written in a conversational tone, it’s incredibly easy to understand and there are cute little graphics throughout that appear to be hand drawn. And since I can relate to the topics the author discusses, I got a lot out of her book and actually applied her findings to my own life.

In a nutshell, she shares her research on what she calls “hacks” that help readers more efficiently manage their glucose spikes—or “flatten their glucose curves,” as Inchauspé refers to it. Now I’m not a medical professional, so please don’t take any of this information as if I were. You should always consult your doctor before implementing any medical advice. But so far, the hacks depicted in said book appear to be helping me control my blood sugar.

The irony here is that so many of her so-called hacks (there are 10 in all) seem almost counterintuitive—at least to me. For starters, apparently the order in which food is consumed matters. Who knew? I’ve lived on this planet since the Kennedy administration and never knew this mindboggling fact. According to Inchauspé, fiber in the form of veggies should start every meal, followed by protein and healthy fats, then carbohydrates and finally sweets, if at all. To put this into practice I ate an Italian sausage sandwich at a Crosscutters game recently by deconstructing it—plucking the delicious sautéed peppers and onions off first, then devouring the sausage and finally the roll—like a complete nutjob. Hopefully, no one was watching.

Another habit the author swears by is to walk after meals, so that the corresponding glucose feeds muscles instead of staying in the bloodstream. So much for morphing into a couch potato after I eat. Instead, I try to go for a short walk, but I get to pet dogs so it’s all good.

Yet another hack is to consume a bit of vinegar before meals—like olive oil and vinegar dressing on a green salad. I personally add vinegar by having a dill pickle—or three. And like Ray Romano once famously remarked, “Man, I love a pickle.” “It’s like a food and a drink.” I agree wholeheartedly.

Likewise, another practice mentioned in the book is to eat dessert immediately after a meal instead of snacking all day. I remember life as an exhausted parent of toddlers—becoming just as dependent upon the little baggies of Cheerios as my kids were. Apparently, though, having dessert spikes glucose less than snacking incessantly. So, if I’m going to eat something sweet, I eat it right after the meal and then go for a walk, ideally. As the ill-famed line goes: Let them eat cake—sometimes.

What’s more, I’ve added quite a bit of protein to my diet—like Greek yogurt. And I don’t even like Greek yogurt. But if you add enough blueberries, it’s at least palatable. Then again, I’m playing Russian roulette with fresh produce (i.e. Cyclospora). But I digress.

One of the most bizarre hacks the author touts in her book is to ditch cereal and juice for breakfast and instead eat something savory. My husband, of course, thinks it’s beyond peculiar when I choose baked haddock, green beans and rice (a prepackaged meal from Tony’s Deli) FOR BREAKFAST. Or leftover chili. Or cheese ravioli. Or any kind of eggs. Or avocado and cottage cheese. Strange, I know.

I guess it’s all in the name of trying to be healthier, as weird as some of the Glucose Goddess’s suggestions might sound. Time will tell if her hacks have a big impact.

Welcome to my world. It’s where I live (probably having a pickle). Visit me there at www.melindawentzel.com. Signed books are available on Etsy at PlanetMomMarket.