Planet Mom

October 27, 2026 · 1:15 pm

Refrigerator Art

Our refrigerator used to be the hub of our home, mainly because it was covered with photos that depicted almost every milestone or significant event in our lives as a family—to include preschool graduation, Halloween costumes, photo booth fun, birthday parties, family vacations as well as a snapshot or two of an ordinary Tuesday here at home. Of course, in those days there was also a giant calendar wedged between the photos upon which we had scrawled important upcoming dates and phone numbers. By contrast, I keep practically everything in my smartphone calendar and contact list now. No need to hang a ridiculously large master schedule smack in the middle of the fridge anymore.

At any rate, we remodeled our kitchen and replaced our old fridge with a stainless steel one a number of years ago. So I boxed up the wealth of photos and kids’ artwork and put them somewhere safe, although I can’t recall where just now. For longer than I’d care to admit, I pined for the antiquated fridge with its canvas of snapshots and magnets inscribed with favorite quotes, often finding myself standing in front of it, reminiscing over times when my children were small.

In all honesty, it took more restraint than I had imagined to refrain from plastering the entire surface of that new fridge with an embarrassment of photos once again. Self-imposed restraint, I might add. I don’t think my husband, or the kids for that matter, really had an opinion about how pristine (or not) the new fridge looked. They probably would’ve been fine had I festooned it from top to bottom and on three sides once more. But I didn’t. However, I couldn’t completely kick the “refrigerator art” habit. I settled, instead, for designating just one side of the new fridge for photos and the like. As a result, the part of me that appreciates an unblemished, smudge-free surface that gleams in the morning sunlight is happy. Similarly, the part of me that reveres seeing the cherished photos and reading the inspirational messages on a handful of magnets is thrilled. It’s a win-win situation, I guess.

Not surprisingly, I chose photos of my favorite people and pets this time, too, although most of them are updated, more recent versions of the originals. There are favorite images of our twins caught in mid-performance in the marching band they so loved, some of them during their college years, some printouts of old holiday greeting cards we had made, some of my parents and mother-in-law who have since passed away, a dear church friend we also lost and even a picture of our old fridge—the one that was inundated with the trappings of life. I also added a smattering of pics (and even an ultrasound image) of our granddaughter, who is now eight.

I think the pics of the pets we’ve lost get to me the most. They pull at my heartstrings. Even though our curly-haired, pint-sized Bichon whizzed indiscriminately on the floor almost every day and our 95-lb. yellow lab “puppy” occasionally dragged us across the street because she wanted to eat other dogs, I still miss them. And our black lab mix, with the caramel-colored eyes that made me melt—he is missed, too, along with our black cat, Mr. Binx, once feral and eventually tamed. And I can’t forget our long-haired orange tabby, who was known for fetching things like a dog and for sleeping on whoever happened to be ill, to perhaps make them well again. Since the space on the new fridge is limited, I framed and hung pictures of nearly all of our pets in an adjacent room. The Pet Wall of Fame, if you will. Now I rekindle the abundance of memories I possess standing somewhere besides the kitchen when I want to revisit a time when they were all here. Of course, I’ve included images of our current cats who are alive and well in that room, too.

It’s a far cry from the coveted fridge space, I suppose, but it’ll have to do.

Welcome to my world. It’s where I live (probably admiring my refrigerator). Visit me there at www.facebook.com/NotesFromPlanetMom. Signed books are available on Etsy at PlanetMomMarket.

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Filed under Daily Chaos, Family Affair, Gratitude, Growing Pains, Home Improvement, In the Trenches of Parentville, Love and Other Drugs, motherhood, Mushy Stuff, Normal is Relative, Refrigerator Art, Welcome to My Disordered World

Tagged as family, family photos, growing pains, kids' art, life, love, memories, parenting, refrigerator, refrigerator magnets

October 20, 2026 · 11:42 am

She Drives Me Crazy

It’s been rumored that I drive my husband crazy—in all the wrong ways. Of course, he is more than willing to point out my shortcomings, even if he had to convince me to mention them here, in print. Turnabout is fair play, I suppose.

For starters, I try (and usually fail) to persuade him to eat more vegetables each day. It’s almost as if he has some sort of personal vendetta against food that is primarily green. It’s nothing new. He’s been that way for as long as I’ve known him. “How about some peas? Green beans? An artichoke maybe?”

I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that it’s a big “nope” from him much of the time, or “Why would I want to eat something that’s trying to STAB me!?” So, I’m fairly astonished on the rare occasions where he agrees to have a something veggie-ish. Either way, he views my persistent coaxing as he would an irritating rash—something decidedly annoying that may or may not go away in time.

As long as I’m addressing the issue of health, it’s fair to say that I am unrelenting in my suggestions that we go for a walk together—especially now, since the weather is beautiful. It’s usually sunny, low humidity and it doesn’t feel like we’re a mile from the sun. Although, I must admit, it’s my husband’s least favorite season, with all the leaves changing and cooler temperatures. As he likes to say, “Everything is DYING. Why would anybody like that?” At any rate, I’m quite sure he’s less than pleased when I suggest we go for a stroll.

Then there are all the times I imply that we should do some odd jobs around the house, like decorate for Halloween—and he agrees. However, it seems that we’re never in agreement when it comes to when we’re motivated to do the jobs. He’s a morning person, while I detest mornings. I much prefer to tackle work of any sort in the afternoon, after I’ve had my caffeine. It’s true: Take two people who are opposite in almost every way, and invariably, they marry each other.

Apparently, I am also an overachiever when it comes to asking mindless questions—a trait that my spouse considers to be the height of exasperation. He even has a name for me related to my special talents in that arena—the Question Queen. But I’ve got news for him; I’m not insulted by it. Instead, I’ve embraced the title and try to pepper him with even more questions than he thought humanly possible. He’s remarked on more than one occasion that he’s tried to anticipate which particular questions I’ll fire in his direction upon his return from being out, and, of course, the first three are ones he never imagined. Touché.

What’s more, I have a habit of plucking his gnarly ear hairs or an eyebrow hair gone rogue with far more glee than is deserved. Admittedly, I do find joy in ridding him of unruly and unwanted hairs near his face. Pain just happens to be a byproduct. I’m also guilty of pestering him to remove the unsightly piles of papers on our kitchen island—the ones he can’t bear to trash or move somewhere out of sight. I confess that said pestering is off the charts, but someone has to do it.

But what drives him absolutely berserk is something I’ll admit is a terrible habit of mine—I don’t listen to the details of what he says. I get the gist of his commentary, but fail to come away with any meaningful specifics that might contribute to a deeper understanding of what he’s expressing at any given moment. I usually chalk it up to being glued to my phone, my computer or whatever playoff game happens to be airing at the time. It’s true—I don’t always attend to what is being said. What can I say—I’m easily distracted. As a result, he’s relegated to repeat a ridiculous number of utterances—well, his half of them anyway, which can lead to madness, I’m told.

On a related note, we both get aggravated because we knowingly choose to hold entire conversations when we’re halfway across the house from each other, shouting into the void in the hopes that our message will be received. Mind you, we don’t move closer to one another; we just shout louder, repeating the insanity that’s wrapped in denial.

Welcome to my world. It’s where I live (probably driving my husband crazy). Visit me there at www.facebook.com/NotesFromPlanetMom. Signed books are available on Etsy at PlanetMomMarket.

Reading Between the Lines

Not long ago, I was waiting at my local garage having my oil changed along with a couple of other repairs for my car. Since I knew it might be a considerable wait, I brought along a good book to keep me company, as I often do. Soon after I sat down, a man approached me, intending to sit down beside me, since he had to wait for his car repair, too. He asked if I was planning to watch the traffic outside to pass the time since the wall facing the road was a bank of floor to ceiling windows. I, of course, gestured to my book and answered that I intended to read.

He then proceeded to scoff at my response, suggesting that, “Books aren’t really a thing anymore. They’re a rarity. People don’t read books anymore.” I hate to say that he was mansplaining, but he was mansplaining. At the very least, it was patronizing.

“You think? I questioned sarcastically. Then I picked up my book and started to read, as I had planned. After a few moments, I leaned over and quietly informed him that I had WRITTEN two books. The look on his face was priceless, and worth all the time and effort I had invested in writing those books. He then had me repeat what I had said, to help him better understand that I had created two physical books. He then sat down in his chair in stunned silence.

As it turns out, the mansplainer might have been right. According to Sunil Iyengar in an article published by the National Endowment for the Arts in 2024, less than half of U.S. adults had read at least one book in the past year (the study was conducted by the U.S. Census Bureau in 2022). Ten years earlier, the percentage was almost 55. As for fiction-reading in that same study, just shy of 38% claimed to have read a novel or short story (2022) compared to over 45% in 2012.

According to an article by the National Literacy Institute (2024-2025), 54% of adults read below a 6^th grade level, while 20% were below a 5^th grade level. It’s hard to even wrap my mind around these statistics, not to mention how disheartening it is.

The concerning trend apparently is evident in children, too. As cited in the National Endowment for the Arts article mentioned above, in 2012 more than half of all nine-year-olds reported reading for fun “almost every day.” In 2022, it dropped to just 39%. This is beyond disturbing.

Our own Webb Weekly editor, Steph Noviello, recently addressed the topic of falling literacy rates in the Unites States in her September 2^nd article entitled, International Literacy Day: Why Reading Matters More Than Ever. In the piece, she stressed the importance of reading, especially for children, and suggested how we as a community can help foster and truly value literacy. I’m honestly encouraged that people like Steph regularly draw readers’ attention to such unsettling trends in this country—perhaps helping to shine a light in an otherwise dark corner of our history as it relates to something as basic as literacy.

And as Rich Lowry recently expressed in the Opinion pages of the Sun-Gazette, maybe part of the problem stems from the fact that kids are spending an enormous amount of time each day (in school and at home) on screens. He also suggested that social media and AI may be equally detrimental to their overall learning and attention.

Perhaps most alarming are Ray Bradbury’s words:

“The problem in our country isn’t with books being banned, but with people no longer reading.”

“You don’t have to burn books to destroy a culture. Just get people to stop reading them.”

It seems as though what we’re experiencing of late is a perfect storm. Literacy rates are plummeting nationwide, while at the same time a lot of people are choosing not to read, even if they can read.

I think we would do well as a populace to defy the literacy trends by doing our part—to encourage kids to read by making books readily available to them and to read aloud to them often. Likewise, we should support our public libraries and local bookstores, and, of course, get caught reading.

Welcome to my world. It’s where I live (probably reading a good book). Visit me there at www.facebook.com/NotesFromPlanetMom. Signed books are available on Etsy at PlanetMomMarket.

So Many Questions, So Few Answers

Generally speaking, I think people prefer to know why things happen as opposed to being in the dark. They like certainty versus uncertainty. A black and white rendering over endless shades of grey. At least that describes my inclination.

And although a great deal of time has passed since my brother’s suicide, 20 years to be exact, it seems that shades of grey are all I have been left with, even still. There are so many questions and so few answers. He didn’t leave a note that might explain why he decided to drive off the overlook of the Pennsylvania Grand Canyon one cold, January evening in 2006. There were no outward signs of being troubled that my family noticed—at least none that we recognized in the moment.

He seemed okay on the surface. He had two great jobs—one as a special education teacher and another as a part-time funeral director. He had friends. He had wonderful neighbors. A lovely home. A dog. To say that his students adored him is an understatement. They showed up at his funeral in droves, as did half the town. I remember seeing their faces, so sorrowful, so forlorn, so lost—much like my family who stood beside his casket for five hours, trying to console them or to offer some semblance of a “why” for my brother’s actions. We didn’t know why. We could only speculate.

In hindsight, there were signs. He was overly generous at Christmastime, probably spending more on us than he could afford. I pushed away thoughts that questioned how he was able to give with such abundance, chalking it up to having two jobs and no family. He seemed to genuinely enjoy that day, soaking in the joy our kids experienced while opening their gifts. Another instance involved a conversation we had not long before the event. He called me out of the blue and asked in all sincerity if I was “happy.” At the time, I thought it was an odd question, but looking back, I think he was curious to know if I was content with my life, perhaps hoping to learn that I would continue to be okay if he were no longer here. A way to check in with me before he left this world. It pains me now to see those instances for what they were—a goodbye, on his own terms.

Turns out, my brother was gay—at a time when no one admitted to it. He hid it well. Even I didn’t know for sure. There were girlfriends throughout high school and college—ones that he brought home to meet our parents. Ones that he spent a great deal of time with, seemingly invested in their relationships. But it was a ruse. Everything he did was in the name of protecting his terrible secret. I’ll never know the gravity of what he had been dealing with his whole life until he cut it short at 39. I now suspect it was in large part why he chose to end his life. I just wish he could’ve talked with me about it. I certainly would’ve accepted his gayness.

In different times, like our current ones, perhaps his life wouldn’t have been tragically cut short. I’d like to think that we, as a society, have grown since then and have become a more inclusive, accepting lot. National Coming Out Day (celebrated on Sunday, October 11^th) has been around since 1988 in the US, supporting the LGBTQIA+ community as a whole. I only wish my brother had felt comfortable enough to live his life openly, as a gay man, with or without a national commemoration.

My husband and I recently got tattoos of a semicolon, signifying a pause in people’s lives, as opposed to an end. It’s a small way of remembering and honoring my brother’s sacrifice and his battle to stay here among the living. It’s also a way to stand with others who struggle with suicidal thoughts.

When all is said and done, I guess we do have some insight into my brother’s life. It’s just sad that he chose to end it, for whatever reason.

Welcome to my world. It’s where I live (wishing I could go back in time with the knowledge and certainty of today). Visit me there at www.facebook.com/NotesFromPlanetMom. Signed books are available on Etsy at PlanetMomMarket.

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Filed under Family Affair, Love and Loss

Tagged as brothers, death, family, LGBTQ, love, Love and Loss, National Coming Out Day, suicide

September 29, 2026 · 12:21 pm

Food Fight

There are lots of areas in which my husband and I have a difference of opinion. I think we should be able to park our cars in our garage. He doesn’t particularly care if the cars are in there or not. He is of the opinion that every cardboard box we own should be squirreled away for another day. I think keeping just a few is plenty. I say “let,” while he says “leave.”

But when it comes to food, the differences are off the charts. Naturally, I think I represent the majority of opinion in every instance. So does he. Therein lies the rub.

For starters, I love tuna salad when it’s made with mayonnaise, regardless of the brand. He prefers mixing the tuna with Miracle Whip, which I can’t begin to tolerate. It’s far too sweet for my taste and doesn’t even smack of real food. When it comes to tuna, it’s all about a savory flavor in my mind. Throw in some celery and maybe a bit of diced hardboiled eggs or onion and you have something worth eating. I’ve even been known to add sliced Spanish olives for a nice briny tang. By contrast, he adds sweet pickle relish. I can’t even. So, to resolve this issue in our marriage, we make both kinds of tuna salad as a rule.

Speaking of tuna, my husband became ill after eating some tuna noodle casserole ONE time and has refused to eat it ever since then. Mind you, this happened over 50 YEARS AGO. You’d think after that much time had passed, you might be inclined to try the dish again, especially since you love all the ingredients. Nope. Turns out, he had a horrible bout of the flu that night and it had nothing whatsoever to do with the tuna casserole. But there’s no convincing him of that, even still.

What’s more, I like chili made with kidney or black beans (or both) while he prefers it without beans. Who does that? He loves pickled beets. I can’t stand them, although I do enjoy pickled red beet eggs. Go figure. I absolutely love ripe (black) and Spanish (green) olives while he positively abhors them. I’m sure it bothers him to no end when he sees me enjoying either the black or green variety by the fistful, so I try to get out of his sight when I do. In addition, we’ve gone round and round over the matter of apple dumplings. He thinks they’re a stand-alone meal. I think they qualify as a dessert.

Further, I won’t eat scrapple, nor do I trust anyone who does. In fact, the horrendous smell that wafts through the entire house when it’s cooking repulses me. By the same token, he refuses to eat broccoli or cauliflower and can’t stand the smell when they’re steaming hot. Nor does he trust anyone who would eat such a thing. I don’t even want to know where scrapple comes from. It’s like some sort of mystery meat that I don’t care to sample even though my husband lovingly offers me some each time he makes it. It’s only fair that I offer him broccoli or cauliflower.

Another area of dissimilarity involves the manner in which we consume spaghetti or linguini. I, of course, twirl a few noodles with my fork against a spoon or my plate, like a normal person—just like my friend, Theresa. He, on the other hand, CUTS THE PASTA like a madman. It’s almost criminal and it literally hurts my soul to witness this in person and hear his knife scraping against the plate.

In addition, the man eats Lebanon bologna slathered with peanut butter. In all honesty, I just don’t see those two flavors pairing in the same mouthful. I love them both, but would never put them together under any circumstance. That’s just insane.

When all is said and done, in our household at least, what I’ve described brings new meaning to the phrase, “food fight.”

Welcome to my world. It’s where I live (probably arguing about food). Visit me there at www.facebook.com/NotesFromPlanetMom. Signed books are available on Etsy at PlanetMomMarket.