Tag Archives: aging

I’ll Fix Your Wagon

Just when you think you’re cruising along in life and nearly everything seems to be going swimmingly, the universe begs to differ. In its infinite wisdom it whispers, “I’ll fix your wagon,” because we all know that things can’t go as planned forever. The universe always has the final say. And it doesn’t seem to matter how optimistic or spiritual or hopeful one is. Eventually, the tide turns—for the worse. At least for me that’s how it usually goes.

Case in point: The dehumidifier in our basement needed to be emptied. So, I emptied it. Like a normal person. On a Sunday afternoon. But my lower back never got the message that this was part of my regular routine. Something I considered to be ridiculously simple. Something that I have accomplished without incident seemingly forever. But this time was different. Somehow, I was asking too much of my back to complete the task without any drama.

Reader, there was plenty of drama.

At first, I felt a slight twinge. Then the reality set in that I had done something horrible to my back. Correction: Something horribly stupid. Apparently, I was lifting the brunt of the weight with my back—and not with my legs. I then replaced the reservoir in the dehumidifier and scooped the litter box, all the while trying (and failing) to bend over like someone who wasn’t in excruciating pain. I then hobbled to the stairs—the ones that looked impossible to scale in my current condition. God bless railings.

For the next five days (and counting), I planted myself on the couch in agony with a heating pad and/or ice wedged behind me while I watched entirely too much tennis and baseball, envious of the way the athletes on the screen could move. By contrast, I shuffled around the house like an old man—much like Tim Conway did in his hilarious skits—every step a new adventure, the epitome of the term “slow.”

It’s easy to take a body that works the way it’s supposed to for granted. You don’t really think about doing something as basic as bending over to pick a piece of lint off the floor—until you can’t. By then, it qualifies as pure, unadulterated frustration. Honestly, this past week I’ve been staring at the pieces of lint on the floor as if they were mocking me, obsessed with their existence and completely disgusted with myself because I can’t pick the cussed things up. And I keep dropping stuff while the mere thought of retrieving said stuff makes me wince. Never mind the notion of sneezing. That pain is off the charts.  

As a result, I have had to rely on my husband to do practically EVERYTHING for me. He picks up the remote when I drop it. He brings me celery lovingly stuffed with tuna. He stands behind me as I attempt to navigate the stairs. For the love of God, HE PUTS MY SOCKS ON. Of course, he does it wrong because the words on the socks aren’t perfectly aligned with my toes, so I make him fix them by suggesting that he pretends for a moment to suffer from OCD (related to symmetry) like me. So far, I have been successful.

In a nutshell, I have been virtually incapacitated, and popping Tylenol around the clock. If nothing else, this experience has given me a new appreciation for what people who are debilitated for whatever reason go through on a daily basis. My husband, for instance, has been dealing with pain and discomfort for more than a decade—mostly associated with neuropathy and arthritis, not to mention his hip and back surgeries and all that that has entailed. I try not to lose my patience as quickly with his slower pace and attempt to understand that perhaps the universe fixed his wagon, too.

Welcome to my world. It’s where I live (recuperating). Visit me there at www.facebook.com/NotesFromPlanetMom. Signed books are available on Etsy at PlanetMomMarket.

Copyright 2026 Melinda L. Wentzel

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Filed under Captain Quirk, Daily Chaos, Gratitude, Me Myself and I, Rantings & Ravings, The Chicken Man, We Put the Fun in Dysfunction

What’s the Damage?

When I was young some would say that I was a fairly athletic person, as I participated quite competitively in various sports, both individual and team efforts. As one might expect, I suffered my share of injuries over the years and used a ton of ice and Bengay as therapy. The list mostly included sprained ankles, dislocated fingers and, of course, pulled hamstrings—a sprinter’s lament. I’m not sure how I managed it, but I never tore an ACL or broke any bones back then. Small mercies.

Fast forward to now, when I hurt myself in one way or another, I don’t bounce back as quickly—if at all. It used to be I was laid up for a few days or a week at most, and then I was right back to normal, ready to pull another hammy in the 100m dash.

Once I was pushing 40 however (and now considerably more), it seems the rules have changed—and not for the better. For starters, I can injure myself doing absolutely anything—or nothing at all. I can bend down and pick up a paperclip and wrench my back instantaneously. The twinge is familiar if nothing else and I know I’ll be hibernating on the couch with a heating pad in no time. And why is it that a stiff neck can materialize out of nothingness? I can “sleep wrong” and wind up with utterly debilitating neck pain—the kind that triggers pure anguish over the suggestion of driving a car.

It almost goes without saying that my muscles and joints have aged less than gracefully and I’m sure there’s a bit of arthritis lurking about that adds to my discomfort from time to time—which doesn’t seem fair at all. Who knew that running a full marathon and completing a triathlon in college would ostensibly wreck my knees? Not 21-year-old me. I thought I was invincible.

But what I find completely unwarranted is that the reasoning behind most of my injuries of late have been just plain stupid. Not so long ago, I was out for a walk at dusk enjoying the great outdoors in our neighborhood when I heard a tremendous crash in the woods nearby. Mind you, I clearly heard this crash OVER the music playing in my earbuds—so it had to be deafening. For context, a few weeks prior to this event a very large black bear was seen roaming around our neighborhood. He had broken down a pool fence, torn down one of our bird feeders and had gotten into someone’s trash, destroying the metal can in the process. So naturally when I heard the noise coming from the woods, I assumed it was a BEAR and started running, sprinter that I am, or was, more correctly. In mid-sprint I felt something snap in both of my Achillies tendons, but kept running lest the bear eat me. I then climbed and clawed my way up our hilly front lawn, assuredly tearing my tendons even further. Once I got to the top, I looked back. There was no bear, only an empty street, mocking me. I then hobbled back to the house—a walk of shame if ever there was one. Turns out, a tree had fallen in the woods. Go figure.

Another idiotic event involved taking our tiny dog, Jack, out to do his business in the back yard. He had a habit of wandering forever in circles, searching for the perfect spot. Because, of course, he did. While he was busy sniffing and searching, I inadvertently stepped in a rabbit hole I had forgotten was there. It wasn’t a very big hole, just enough to affirm that I was, in fact, a fool. I can’t tell you how many times we intended to fill in said hole, but didn’t. As a result, I wound up with a hyperextended knee. I Googled it, thereby confirming my suspicions.

Just the other week, I once again felt searing pain—this time in my shoulder/neck/scapula area. I hadn’t lifted a car or anything. Nope. I was just stretching. In the morning. Like a normal person. I wasn’t even out of bed yet. My feet hadn’t touched the floor. But I knew the instant I felt the stab of pain that I would be on the couch with the heating pad in no time, assessing the damage.

Welcome to my world. It’s where I live (anxiously awaiting my next stupid injury). Visit me there at www.facebook.com/NotesFromPlanetMom. Signed books are available on Etsy at PlanetMomMarket.

Copyright 2026 Melinda L. Wentzel

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Filed under Home is Where the Weirdness Lives, Ode to Embarrassment