The Empty Nest

Under Construction…

Melinda L. Wentzel aka Planet Mom

Humor Columnist. Empty nester. Recovering minivan owner. Walker of the damn dog. Author: ON MOTHERHOOD (Essays) and DELIVERANCE: A SURVIVAL GUIDE TO PARENTING TWINS. Planet Mom: It's where I live, at the corner of Irreverence and Over-sharing. Please join me.
PLANET MOM…

…offering parents who subsist at various stages of lunacy a sanity cocktail in the form of gloriously irreverent and, at times, surprisingly touching posts about marriage and life with kids.
BUY IT HERE!
BUY IT HERE!
DELIVERANCE: A Survival Guide to Parenting Twins BUY IT HERE!
Buy SIGNED COPIES on ETSY!!
- Etsy
“Every parent needs to read this book! It’s hilarious!” Brenda Gair
“Wentzel will have you nodding your head in solidarity and grinning like a fool while you read! Heartwarming and funny!” (Robin O’Bryant, NYT bestselling author of Ketchup is a Vegetable and Other Lies Moms Tell Themselves)
Winner of the 2009-2010 MACPA Editorial Award for Original Writing, Category: Personal Column
HumorWriters.org
“Planet Mom is a talented writer with a wicked funny sense of humor!” Vicki VanNoy
If you haven’t been an embarrassment to your teen/tween in the past 24 hours, you’re not doing it right.
“I Can Has Cheeseburger?”
Visit Me on Instagram

Don’t forget mom on Mother’s Day😲😲😲 (It’s THIS Sunday). Also don’t forget that books make great gifts. On Motherhood: Fireflies to First Dates is a collection of humorous and heartwarming Planet Mom essays spanning 15 years of parenting. 🤓🤓🤓 Deliverance: A Survival Guide to Parenting Twins is a hilarious account of rearing twins in the first year, chock full of helpful advice for the journey. 😂😂😂 Signed copies are available at @otto_bookstore in downtown Williamsport, @wellsboro_bookstore in Wellsboro, @bnstatecollege on Benner Pike in State College and on ETSY Planet Mom Market. Also available at other fine bookstores, both online and in store. 🤓🤓🤓 #bookstagram #booksofinstagram #booksmakegreatgifts #mothersday #moms #mothers #parenting #essays #humor #planetmom

Tomorrow is National Independent Bookstore Day!😁😁😁 Please celebrate by visiting @otto_bookstore (the oldest independent bookstore in America) located in downtown Williamsport. Signed copies of my books are on their shelves along with tons of literary gems sure to make you smile. 🤓🤓🤓 #nationalindependentbookstoreday #indiebookstore #independentbookstore #booksmakemehappy #bookstagram #booksofinstagram #planetmom #essays #humor #onmotherhood #deliverance #parenting #ottobookstore #williamsport

Mother’s Day is fast approaching and books make great gifts. Especially books about motherhood. 😁😁😁❤️❤️❤️ On Motherhood : Fireflies to First Dates and Deliverance: A Survival Guide to Parenting Twins are available at fine bookstores everywhere and online at iUNIVERSE, Amazon, Barnes and Noble, etc. Signed copies can be purchased at @otto_bookstore in downtown Williamsport, @wellsboro_bookstore in Wellsboro, @bnstatecollege on Benner Pike in State College and on Etsy at Planet Mom Market. #books #bookstagram #booksmakegreatgifts #mothersday #moms #motherhood #OnMotherhood #Deliverance #humor #parenting #essays #planetmom #etsy
HuffPost Blogger
Follow Planet Mom on Twitter... You know you want to...
Follow me on Twitter
My Tweets
Follow me on Twitter
My Tweets
"(Planet Mom), you are a wonderful writer and you remind other moms to stop and enjoy the small things that we usually forget because we're trying too hard to get everything right." (Keshwar Ateeq, Orlando, FL)
OMFG
“Unanswerable questions never die.”

"...they simply migrate to more fertile regions of our homes where they mutate into hideous manifestations of their original forms, leaving us wringing our hands and damning our inadequate selves.” PLANET MOM
I realized how pathetic my parenting skills were when I screamed at my children, “STOP SCREAMING!!” #fail
Follow Planet Mom on WordPress.com
Email Subscription

Enter your email address to subscribe to Planet Mom and receive notifications of new (and gloriously irreverent) posts via email.

Email Address:

Join 2,664 other subscribers
The Seven Habits of Highly Defective Parents…READ IT HERE!
Rave Reviews for The 7 Habits of Highly Defective Parents!

"A little dysfunction can make a person more interesting!" (The Country Wife, South Dakota)

"This is brilliant. I wish I could give you a trophy, but I'm too busy screaming at my kids." (Kendra, Austin TX)

"Love your voice. If I had kids, I'd totally hang around your blog. Maybe I'll be back in 5 years or so." (Kiya Krier, Kansas City KS)

"I love this. Tear drawing laughter. You are an absolute hoot." (John Nelson, Spokane WA)
“Jesus, woman, where have you been hiding?” (Mr. Lady, Story Editor and Webmaster at Story Bleed Magazine)
Copyright 2003-2022 Melinda L. Wentzel

All rights reserved: Written content, photos and art. VIOLATORS WILL BE FED TO MY DOG.

On a more serious note: Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this site’s material (i.e. written content, photos and art) without express and written permission from this blog’s author and owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Melinda L. Wentzel (aka Planet Mom) and the Planet Mom Web Site with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Planet Mom Gear… Get it here…

ZAZZLE.COM/PLANETMOM
"Life's Unpredictable" Post-It Notes
by PlanetMom
MotherEarth365. Because Mother Nature inspires.

ZAZZLE.COM/MOTHEREARTH365
NEANDERDAD...GOOD READS
Buy it HERE!
Absurd Utterance of the Day…

"Mom, you're really good at writing adult humor...just not kid humor. Kid humor involves making fart noises with your hands, and you're not very good at that."
Thing One: Self-portrait (@ the age of 100)
Thing Two: Self-portrait
“Mom, I wouldn’t trade you for anything. Not even for a worm.”
August autumn back to school Barbie dolls Bookish Stuff books brothers childhood childhood memories children Christmas clutter dads disorder dogs dysfunction Easter essays fall family Father's Day frustration growing pains guilt Halloween hoarding home Home Improvement humor husbands Katherine Center kidisms kids laments life little things loss love madness marriage memories Mommie Dearest moms Mother's Day motherhood must love dogs nature New Year New Year's Resolutions organization parenthood parenting pets Planet Mom projects quirks reading school September shopping sickness snow days special spring suicide summer summertime technology teenagers Thanksgiving tirades toys Valentine's Day winter writing
Categories
Categories
"G" is for Guilt "N" is for Nostalgia "S" is for Shame A Tree is Nice Bookish Stuff Captain Quirk Daily Chaos Doggie Diamonds Endless Summer Family Affair Gratitude Growing Pains Holiday Hokum Home for Wayward Toys Home is Where the Weirdness Lives In the Trenches of Parentville I Pretty Much Suck at Parenting Kid-Speak Love and Loss Love and Other Drugs Meat & Potatoes Me Myself and I motherhood Mushy Stuff Normal is Relative Rantings & Ravings School Schmool The Natives are Decidedly Restless Welcome to My Disordered World We Put the Fun in Dysfunction
May 2023

S M T W T F S

1 2 3 4 5 6

7 8 9 10 11 12 13

14 15 16 17 18 19 20

21 22 23 24 25 26 27

28 29 30 31

« Apr
Recent Posts
- The Graduates
- Hands Upon My Heart
- M is for Motherhood
- Life is Good…Mostly
- Nooks and Crannies
“(Planet Mom), OMG, I actually laughed so hard I cried at the part about ‘remember the time Daddy tried to drown me in the shower....’ etc., I am still mopping tears off my keyboard!!! You are hilarious. Do you realize that you are articulating what every parent actually thinks, but never actually does....?!! Thank you!” (Cat Krestel Porritt, Ontario Canada)
“I recognized Planet Mom in the library last week, which was odd because I had it on my mind that day to e-mail you to tell you how fortunate you are to have her on your staff. Her writing is fresh, brilliant and entertaining. I, along with gazillions of other moms, can totally relate to her articles……she should be nationally syndicated. I look forward to Webb Weekly just for her column……maybe she should get a huge Christmas bonus….” Lori Wannop, Williamsport PA
Brilliantly penned! Buy it HERE!
Positively hilarious! Buy it HERE!
Refrigerator Art...
MORE Refrigerator Art...
Buy it HERE!
Buy it HERE!
“(Planet Mom), you rock!” Robert Wilder, Author: Daddy Needs a Drink
Buy it HERE!
Buy it HERE!
- 111,275 lurkers and counting...
Archives
Archives
StatCounter
Copyright 2003-2022 Melinda L. Wentzel

All rights reserved: Written content, photos and art. VIOLATORS WILL BE FED TO MY DOG.

On a more serious note: Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this site’s material (i.e. written content, photos and art) without express and written permission from this blog’s author and owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Melinda L. Wentzel (aka Planet Mom) and the Planet Mom Web Site with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.